Is Life Supposed to be This Hard?

There are so many things that you love about your life, and so many things that you "should" and do feel grateful for. It can be easy to feel like no one wants to hear you complain, others have it so much worse. You're used to being the one that people count on to make things happen, not the one who needs support. And yet, it feels like you're headed towards burn out. You feel like everything is resting on your shoulders, and others just expect you to keep fixing, problem solving, and performing. 

 

The Impact on You

You might notice that things have been shifting in your body recently. You might be having trouble sleeping, or notice that your jaw feels tight when you try to open it. Or maybe you've been living like this long enough that you're facing  something like an autoimmune disease or a hormone imbalance. You may have been living like this for so long that you don't even register these things as being off anymore.

Your relationships aren't really what you want them to be. You may love your partner, but you don't feel secure in your connection with them. Maybe you don't even really know what that would look or feel like. As much as you may love them, you also might feel some resentment in the relationship. Resentment for what they ask from you when they aren't giving you what you really need. This resentment might also be showing up with coworkers or even some of your friends. It's like people want what you can do for them without also seeing you as someone with needs.

 

Therapy may be for you if you

  • Feel the burden of meeting others' expectations

  • Are afraid of being discovered as a fraud

  • Feel anxious much of the time

  • Are experiencing impact on your health and physical body

  • Are noticing resentment towards others who seem to be living an easier life

  • Don't feel secure in your relationships

  • Are tired of working so hard

You Feel Stuck

That little voice inside your head tells you to keep going, it's not ok for you to slow down or start asking questions about why your life is like this and if it really needs to be this way. People are expecting you to keep going. And if you stopped, that might be they could see you for the fraud that you feel like you are.

Working With Me

I know that you've tried everything you can think of to manage already. Maybe that's writing more detailed to do lists, reading books about productivity, or numbing out with Netflix and social media. Maybe you've even tried therapy before. And yet, it doesn’t feel like anything is changing or getting better. You still feel anxious and overwhelmed. We need to go deeper.

The Mechanics  

I recommend starting with a free 15 min. intro call, this helps to assess fit and ensure that I’m going to be a good therapist for you. At the end of that call, we can schedule our intake session where I can learn more about you and what you’re hoping to work on in therapy. You may feel vulnerable at first, but we will go at your pace and we don't have to talk about anything until you're ready. My sessions are 50 minutes long and I recommend meeting once a week to start so we can build some momentum and get you feeling better sooner. Some clients prefer to dive in and schedule sessions twice a week.  As things begin to improve, my clients will sometimes taper down to every other week. Therapy is 100% confidential.

I'm Here to Welcome All Parts of You  

Therapy with me is based on the idea that our minds are made up of different parts, like members of a family inside us. Each part has its own feelings, thoughts, and roles. Some parts try to protect us (like an anxious part that worries a lot), while others carry pain from past experiences (like a hurt or rejected part). I'll work with you get to know these parts instead of fighting or ignoring them. The goal is to connect with your Self—the calm, compassionate core of who you are. From this place, you can help your parts feel safe, heal old wounds, and bring more balance to your inner world.

It’s like learning to be a kind leader for all the different parts of yourself, so they work together instead of causing stress or inner conflict. If you would like to learn more about this type of therapy, called IFS, you can read more about it here.

 What Therapy Shouldn't Be

While therapy is certainly not always comfortable, it also shouldn't be overwhelming you--the rest of your life is doing that already. We'll go at a pace that feels comfortable for you and My clients are often surprised by what comes up when they actually start processing what's going on for them.

Therapy is not

  • Me fixing you

  • Me telling you that nothing is your fault

  • Me telling you to just work harder

  • Blaming your parents

Feel Confident 

Imagine what your life would be like if you were able to calm that critical voice inside your head, believe that your boss wasn't on the verge of firing you, and feel connected in your relationships. Like really stop and think about that. What would that feel like? What would that change in your life and in your physical body? Something I hear consistently from clients is that they didn't even fully understand what they were missing out on before they started therapy. The quiet confidence that comes from knowing you can trust yourself changes every facet of your life.

It can mean feeling seen and connected in your relationships, a healthier approach to work, and feeling more comfortable in your physical body. It can mean that you get to understand yourself and understand more of why you are the way that you are. It means that you get to believe that you are not broken. And it means that you get to stop working so hard all the time.